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  Julius: As soon as we got into a taxi outside, Emma brought up Alan again.

  Emma: We were being driven back to the hotel, but I think I was still in shock. I asked Julius why he wasn’t more surprised about everything. The fact that Dad’s business partner had gone off a cliff and then, nine years on, the same thing had happened to Dad. It was the whole reason we stopped visiting Galanikos and then here we were.

  Julius: I didn’t understand why she was so concerned about what happened nine years before, instead of worrying about how Dad was doing at that moment. We’d just been told he was critical – but she didn’t want to talk about that.

  Emma: Is it me? Am I the mad one here?

  Julius: I stopped replying after a while and we sat in silence for the rest of the journey. Good job it wasn’t a long one.

  Emma: Julius paid the driver in cash when we got back to the hotel. I offered to pay, but he told me that Dad had given him some money at the airport, telling him to spend it on the girls while we were here. He said something about Dad throwing money around since Mum got her diagnosis, which I presumed was him talking about the fact that Dad had paid for Daniel, Liz, Victor and Claire to come along with us.

  Julius: The manager was waiting for us when we got into reception.

  Emma: I found out that the man who’d greeted me in reception was the night manager. This guy was the full manager and he knew who we both were. He asked how Dad was and, when we said he was alive, the manager put his hands together and said he’d been praying for us.

  Julius: It was weird.

  Emma: I thought it was really kind. He said we were now his honoured guests and that there was a pair of cottages at the back of the property we could have. There would be a lot more privacy and shade back there, so he’d already arranged to have Mum and Dad’s things moved to one of the cottages. He was asking what we wanted to do with the other.

  Julius: I knew Emma wanted that second cottage. Not only that, she’d sulk if she didn’t get it. She was always like that as a kid. I once got this big Lego set for Christmas, where you could build a car. Emma started crying because she decided that’s what she wanted. She’d already had loads of presents, but Mum ended up buying her the same set as mine as soon as the shops opened again.

  When the manager mentioned two cottages, I didn’t think it was worth arguing.

  Emma: I don’t know why Julius turned down that cottage. I told him that the girls would love it, but he insisted he wanted to stay in the main hotel. There was something about the girls liking the view of the pool, but I thought it was probably more about him than them. He said that Mum was going to need someone nearby and that it might as well be me. That was probably closer to the truth: he didn’t want to deal with any potential hassle from Mum.

  I certainly wasn’t going to let Daniel and Liz take it, so I said I’d move my things down. The manager started waving his hands, saying there were bellboys who would help, but I told him I only had one bag that I hadn’t unpacked.

  Julius: Emma got her way. There’s a surprise.

  Emma: When I got back downstairs with my bag, the manager took me out to the back of the hotel. I couldn’t believe it at first. I’d pictured some sort of run-down staff quarters – but the cottages were beautiful. There was a perfect green lawn at the front, with neat flower beds on both sides. The two buildings were symmetrical, with a red door in the centre of each and a window on the side. They were hidden away behind a hedge and I assumed that was where the property line sat. They were so shiny that it was almost as if they’d been painted the day before.

  The manager showed me to the door of the one he said was mine and it was so lovely that I felt embarrassed to be walking in there when it was just me and my bag. Everything was sparkling, like a whole team had gone in and scrubbed everything until it was impossible to be any cleaner. There were thick marble counters and big sliding doors at the back. It’s definitely the nicest place I’ve ever slept.

  Julius: Did she tell you about the marble counters? She told everyone else.

  Emma: I felt so overwhelmed by it all. It didn’t feel right that Dad had almost died and I was benefitting because of it. Then I had to gulp away tears because the walls of my cell suddenly felt so close. Anyone who’s been in prison will tell you that it never really goes away. It might be a clang that reminds you of the doors closing, or a squeak that makes you think of someone moving in the bunk above or below. The screech of cutlery is the worst for me. If I ever hear a knife scrape on a plate, I’m back at mealtimes.

  As I was looking around this lovely space, all I could think about was how different it was to the place where I’d been not that long before.

  Julius: I probably should have taken the cottage.

  Emma: I was still in the same clothes from the day before, so, after the manager left, I locked everything up, put down the blinds and then went and had a shower.

  I remember standing under the water, thinking it was the best shower I’d ever had. I know that’s strange, but I think it was the water pressure. I was standing there, letting the water thump into me, and I felt so… clean. I couldn’t tell you how long I was in there. I honestly think I could have fallen asleep in there.

  Julius: I almost went back to reception to have the manager open the cottage door and check on Emma. She wasn’t answering the door and I still couldn’t be sure about whether she had been drinking the night before.

  Emma: I didn’t hear Julius knocking on the cottage door. The shower is at the back and I had everything closed in between. The water would have been loud – and then I had to get dressed. I was surprised when he said he was on the brink of going to get the manager to check on me.

  Julius: I was worried about her. That’s the thing with Emma. You try to do something for her and, instead of acknowledging the gesture, she tries to second-guess everything and wonders if you have an ulterior motive.

  Despite everything she did, and despite what happened on the island, I’m still her older brother.

  Emma: When we’d established that I’d simply been in the shower, Julius asked if I’d like to babysit the girls that night. When we were on the way back from the hospital, we’d sort of been arguing without actually arguing, so I wondered if there was something behind it all.

  Julius: Told you: always trying to second-guess everything.

  Emma: He said the twins had missed seeing me and that he wanted me to be a part of their lives. I didn’t know what to say at first because I hadn’t been alone with a child since I got out of prison.

  …

  It wasn’t a part of my release conditions, or anything like that. It’s not like I’m a danger to kids – but people look at you differently when you’ve done what I did. I understand it and I don’t blame anyone but myself.

  What Julius said did make me feel a bit teary, if I’m honest. I think I embarrassed both of us because Julius started speaking really quickly, saying that I’d be doing him a favour because he could get out of the hotel for a bit.

  I told him I’d definitely look after the girls. I was looking forward to it – and, just for a moment, it felt like that island was the best place for me. I suppose I momentarily forgot about what had gone on with Dad.

  Then he said that someone had to go and update Daniel and Liz about what had happened – and I realised he meant me.

  Julius: I know Emma doesn’t like Daniel, but it’s not as if I’m his biggest fan, either.

  Emma: Julius and I found Daniel and Liz by the pool. They had their towels spread across about six beds and Liz was sipping away on a cocktail, even though it was breakfast time. Chloe and Amy were on the edge of the pool, but it didn’t look as if anyone was paying them much attention.

  Julius told them to go and play on the slides for a bit, but they didn’t want to. I’d have been the same if I knew something bad had happened and nobody was telling me. Sometimes I think it’s better to treat children with maturity, rather than trying to tiptoe around them. Kids
can be so resilient and if you try to hide things from them, it breeds mistrust and perhaps even a fear of the unknown.

  …But then I guess I’m not the person to be giving parenting advice.

  Julius: Emma did the talking.

  Emma: I told them that Dad had fallen off the clifftops behind the hotel and that he was unconscious in hospital. I used that ‘critical but stable’ line, which they nodded along to. I don’t think they understood it any more than I did.

  I thought they’d ask a bunch of questions. It’s not as if I had many answers but, when it came to it, they hardly said anything.

  Julius: I think Daniel said something like ‘That’s terrible’ – and then Liz parroted him.

  Emma: Daniel asked how long he was likely to be in hospital and I said that I didn’t know. He was still unconscious at the moment.

  Julius: They both seemed really distant about everything, as if Emma had told them that Dad had a cough and was going to be late down.

  Emma: Apart from sitting up a bit, I don’t think either of them moved. Liz even gulped down another mouthful of her cocktail.

  Julius: I was definitely expecting more of a reaction.

  Daniel: To be honest, it was the way she said it. She mumbles a lot. I thought she meant Geoff had been on the cliff and twisted his ankle, something like that. I didn’t think she was talking about an actual fall from the top. I was shocked when I found out later on. Liz will back me up on this.

  Liz: Did you already ask Dan that question? I agree with whatever he told you.

  Emma: It was almost as if they hadn’t heard me. Then Daniel looked sideways to Liz and pushed himself up so that he was sitting properly. He said he was sorry for the argument we had the night before and that he hadn’t meant anything he said.

  Daniel: That girl should have been the one apologising, but I wanted to be the bigger man. I didn’t want her bringing me down to her level and spoiling Liz’s holiday.

  Emma: It was obvious he didn’t mean a word of it. He didn’t take off his sunglasses and I doubted he could even remember what he’d said to me the night before, let alone when he’d toasted me with that glass. I remember his exact words at the end. He coughed and then said: ‘When I said “Have a drink”, I didn’t mean…’ before he tailed off.

  He never finished the sentence, so I did it for him. I told him: ‘I know exactly what you meant.’

  He lifted his sunglasses and looked at me properly and there was this sort of surprise there. It’s obvious that we don’t like each other, but I really think he believed this non-apology would do the trick. That you can say and do whatever you like and then wave it away afterwards. He was shocked that I wasn’t accepting it.

  Julius: It’s not like Emma and I are best mates – but even I know that wasn’t an apology.

  Daniel: I had nothing to say sorry for. I only did it for Liz. I’m still waiting for my apology. Look at what I’ve done with my life and what she’s done with hers and tell me who you believe.

  Emma: I didn’t want to be there any longer and knew we’d end up having another argument if I didn’t leave. I noticed that Claire and Victor were set up on the other side of the pool, so I left Julius with the girls and went around to them.

  Daniel: She stomped off. Don’t know what her problem was.

  Emma: Claire and Victor were on sunbeds right next to each other – but they were angling in opposite directions. They were like two pieces from different puzzles.

  I told them what happened to Dad the night before and got more of a normal reaction from them. Claire said something like ‘Oh my goodness’, while Vic said that Dad was a chuffing good bloke and a right, jeffing inspiration to him.

  Claire: I had to tell Vic to mind his language because there were kids right in front of us. He was always oblivious to things like that.

  Emma: Claire immediately asked if there was anything she could do. I told her she could probably talk to Julius because he might need a bit of help with the girls if we all had to visit the hospital. She said that wouldn’t be a problem.

  I kind of wished Vic wasn’t there because I think Claire and I might have had a proper conversation. From the meal the night before, I’d seen that she was a lot freer without him. Whenever they were together, it was like she was guarding herself. I thought about sitting down by her anyway – but I suppose if I’d done that, I wouldn’t have noticed what happened next.

  Daniel: The pool thing? Are you joking?

  Emma: I was on my way back to the cottage, but I had to pass Daniel and Liz on the way. Julius had disappeared by this point. There was this guy walking around the pool wearing a suit – and it was obvious he wasn’t a tourist. He said something about a ‘best deal’ and then passed me a card, like people sometimes do when you’re outside a supermarket, or wherever. It’s usually a coupon, or some sort of advert. This was for a car rental place a few streets away from the hotel. I was probably going to bin it – but I didn’t want to do it in front of him, so I ended up thanking him and holding onto it.

  I didn’t know his name at the time, although I learned later it was Barak. He carried on for a few steps and then stopped in front of Daniel. He held his hands wide and goes: ‘Good to see you again, Mr Dorsey.’

  Daniel: It was all a misunderstanding. That’s what happens when people can’t speak proper English.

  Emma: Barak’s English was really good, but he definitely had an accent. That didn’t stop me hearing what he said.

  Daniel isn’t one of those men who can hide his feelings. If he’s angry, his chest starts heaving and his face goes red. That’s exactly what happened when he looked back to Barak and replied: ‘I think you’re mistaken. We’ve never met. I’ve never been to this island.’ It was all through gritted teeth.

  Daniel: I’d never met that man before in my life and I’d certainly never visited Galanikos before that trip.

  Emma: Barak looked so confused, as if he was a puppy whose owner had left him outside a shop. This mix of hurt and bemusement.

  Daniel snatched away a card and then Barak moved onto the other side of the pool. I watched him as he went and he kept looking back towards Daniel, wondering what had just happened.

  Daniel: That girl’s deluded if she told you that.

  Emma: I was wondering what had just happened – then Daniel leapt up and pulled a cigar from his back pocket. He didn’t say anything, just marched away towards the smoking area.

  Liz: It was all a big misunderstanding. I think I’d know if my husband had gone on holiday.

  Emma: Misunderstanding, my arse.

  Chapter Five

  THE SINGLE TRAFFIC CONE

  Emma: I went back to my cottage after the incident with Daniel at the pool. Mum had asked me to look at flights off the island, but there didn’t seem much point, considering Dad was still unconscious.

  I didn’t want to spend time around the pool because it seemed like Daniel and Liz were camped there for the day, plus I wasn’t in the mood. I decided to go for a walk instead.

  We’d visited the resort enough times when I was younger, so I had a good idea of where everything was. I also wanted to see how things had changed in the nine years since we’d last been.

  Since we’d landed, it had been one thing after another and I thought it might help clear my head.

  Julius: I don’t know what happened to Emma later that morning.

  Emma: I remember the first ever holiday I went on. I was about five and it was in a caravan at the seaside. Dad drove and Julius and I were in the back of the car. Julius would have been about ten or eleven and couldn’t sit still. We were giving it the full ‘Are we there yet?’ treatment and we’d play I-Spy or these made-up games about spotting number plates, or certain colours of car. It felt like the journey went on for most of the day, but it was probably a couple of hours at most.

  I don’t remember much more about the holiday other than that everything felt really cramped in the caravan. We’d all be climbing over one anothe
r whenever we had to move around.

  When I got back to school, people asked about where I’d been on holiday. I told them about the caravan and everyone laughed.

  …

  Maybe not everyone, but that’s how it felt. These girls would be talking about how they’d been to France, or Italy. Someone had been to Switzerland and I didn’t even know where that was at the time. It sounded like a made-up country.

  I suddenly realised that we were poor. Before that, I obviously knew that some kids had things that I didn’t – but I don’t think I ever understood that the big divider was poor kids versus rich kids.

  It feels like something so distant now. Sometimes I wonder if they are false memories – but I know they’re not. That was my life at the beginning.

  It must have only been a year on from that when everything changed. I’d not done anything, but I was suddenly one of the rich kids. It was all because of Dad. I didn’t understand what he’d done for a while, other than that it was something to do with buying houses.